I went to the Doctor today. He diagnosed me with Stage 3 Pessimitis.
Pessimitis is a disease that is hard to detect because almost everyone who has it thinks the symptoms are part of normal life. And almost everyone who doesn't have it seem to have minimal contact with those infected, due to the symptoms and effects it puts on the host.
He said I probably contracted it by prolonged exposure to other people who have contracted the disease, but it can also be caused by infected misinformation that lodges itself in the frontal lobes.
So I am pretty sure its contagious. That's why I stayed home today.
He said its not that bad though, although the symptoms range greatly, the number of cures seemed almost hopeful.
I was going to go out and get some Willpower, since he said that may help, but I didn't feel like getting cleaned up to go out in public.
Then I was going to call you and ask if you'd pick me up some Selfworth. I guess if you apply that daily, the symptoms can begin to disappear within a week. You were probably too busy to do an errand for me though. And I'd have asked you buy me some Rose-Coloured Contact Lenses, but you probably don't have enough money. They sound expensive.
I'd pay you back for them, but I still have that outstanding procrastination fine. I guess I could always pay you back later.
So instead I just kind of stayed around the house all day. I thought about the symptoms and what they were. I'd never heard of them before. I didn't really feel like doing anything at all, so I spent a lot of time thinking about what Lethargy might be. Its sounds bad, I guess.
And I was pretty sure I had read about Laziness back in high school when I did an essay, but those old encyclopedias are under the stairs packed away in a box, and they'd be too hard to get out.
So I went and stared out the window. Doc said if it hasn't advanced too badly there may be a chance my body could develop some positive creativity, and that could lead to recovery. I was gonna phone him and ask him about that, but I saw something glimmer outside on the sidewalk. I couldn't stop thinking about what it might be, and I felt like I had a little bit of energy to burn, so I went out to see what it was. Turned out it was a necklace. Silver, with a crescent moon pendant. It was quite nice. I saw a girl about my age walking away and I ran and asked it if it was hers.
She was very thankful and told me her name. She's new in town, and she lives just down the street. I told her my name. Then I went back into the house, since I was still in my pajama pants and a t-shirt. I wonder which house it is. I hope I see her again.
Doc said if nothing else works, I had better just hope and pray that some Serendipity shows up later on before it advances to Stage 4. I hear that can cure my condition almost instantly. I don't know how it shows up, but I don't think I'll need it anymore. I'm pretty sure I'm feeling better already. I think I'm gonna clean up and go to the store. Maybe I'll see that new girl.
Come to think of it, I don't really see how I could have Pessimitis. I'm usually quite healthy. Actually, the Doctor must have been mistaken. All of those symptoms seem like things I couldn't ever have. I'm a perfectly fine, healthy, young man. I don't need a physician to tell me what is going on inside of me.
You know what? I'm going to take these Anti-skepticism pills he gave me back right now before I take a single one. They probably don't work at all.
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